Previous Week: 12-3
Week one was wild! I mean, how could anyone not have hot takes after last weekend’s slate of games?! It looks like the Eagles have a quarterback. The Patriots could win with Bert and Ernie at QB and tight end. The Redskins have a weaker-armed-Sam Bradford in the same system for 3 years and surrounded by good weapons. And even without Le’veon Bell and Martevis Bryant, the Steelers offense can be “high” powered!
I was sadly right about Ryan Fitzpatrick. Sunday showed, although serviceable, Fitzy just isn’t the answer for the Jets. Maybe having old bigoted senile Rudy Giuliani flip the coin before a game isn’t exactly a good omen.
Speaking of crazy old-has been-New York-headline addicted conservatives, how about those Bills? Man, Rex Ryan is on the hot seat and it’s not even November yet. Rex, a great defensive coordinator, just isn’t a head coach. He’s as much a head coach as Kirk Cousins is a franchise quarterback, or as Donald Trump is a president.
And with that, here are my Genius NFL Picks!
Jets at Bills
This is an early must win for the perennial AFC East runner-ups. Both teams are 0-1 after week 1 losses. I like the Bills in this spot. They’re at home, Rex hates the Jets, and the Bills defense owns Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Bills 23 Jets 17
Saints at Giants
This is the “fantasy football-must watch-glad my team isn’t playing while it’s on” game of the day. The Saints may be the most entertaining team in the NFL to watch. They score a lot and also couldn’t stop the Harvard intramural flag football team. The last time these two teams played, offensive records were broken. I like an exact mirror of that game. OBJ will get his, but Brees rules the day.
Saints 40 Giants 38
Titans at Lions
The Titans stink.
Lions 27 Titans 22
Cowboys at Redskins
Did Dez catch it? Nope.
Will it matter on Sunday? Nope. I just can’t get behind Kirk Cousins. In a pressure must win game at home, I’m taking Dak and Dez to play big time against an emotionally shattered Redskins bunch, sending the divisional champs into an 0-2 hole.
Cowboys 28 Redskins 20
Chiefs at Texans
Fun game! These two teams won on Sunday, and are both riding high. I like the Texans at home, Andy’s team dodged a bullet last week, but that won’t fly in Houston
Texans 26 Chiefs 24
Dolphins at Patriots
The Dolphins played Seattle tough last week. They lost. However, I did like what I saw from them. I think this is a trap game for New England. After a long trip home after a tough game against Arizona, I think this is the game the Pats miss Brady and Gronk.
Dolphins 27 Patriots 17
Ravens at Browns
Boring game. The Browns are the worst team in the NFL. I’ll take the Ravens.
You think I’m picking this guy?
Ravens 30 Browns 13
49ers at Panthers
Is Chip back? Maybe. Is Blaine Gabbert good? No. I mean, it was the Rams. Carolina is in a tough spot, and I think the Niners will be ready to play. However an 0-1 home favorite is a tough team to pick against. I think it’ll be tough. The Niners can pull the upset, but I expect Cam to make a couple “we not losing” plays and get the tough win.
Panthers 26 Niners 22
Bengals at Steelers
Man, can we just call this World War 3? These two teams hate each other, and there’s no doubt about it. I just hope no major injuries happen in this game, and no coaches push players. This is a true rivalry.
The Bengals will be looking for revenge, and I don’t think thy’ll get it. I’m taking Big Ben and the Steelers.
Steelers 33 Bengals 24
Buccaneers at Cardinals
The Cardinals aren’t that great to me. But they’re home, and desperate. The Bucs are COMING, and Jameis Winston looks like he’s arrived. It would be easy to pick Arizona at home, but I’m not. I’m taking Tampa in a road statement win. Look for a few Carson Palmer turnovers.
Bucs 31 Cardinals 28
Seahawks at Rams
The Rams offense is as offensive as a Trump supporting Republican congressman from Alabama.
My fear: Jeff Fisher runs Todd Gurley into the ground, early in his career. I’m sorry, if I have a young QB and young stud back, I want Fisher no where near my team. The Rams wont see the end zone again, this week.
Seahawks 21 Rams 6
Falcons at Raiders
The Falcons defense got carved up by Famous Jameis last week, and this week it gets no easier having to travel to Oakland. The Raiders defense didn’t show up in New Orleans, but I think it’ll be ready to show out in front of the black hole. Khalil Mack dominates, sending The Dan Quinn bunch into an 0-2 hole.
Raiders 34 Falcons 20
Jaguars at Chargers
These two teams fought hard and lost last week in heart breaking fashion. I’m taking the Chargers to take care of business at home. Well, at their “home for now”.
Chargers 24 Jaguars 23
Colts at Broncos
The Colts have the better offense, and Luck looked great last week, but their defense was terrible. You have to wonder how long Ryan Grigson can keep his job, while failing to put talent on the defensive side of the ball, a capable running back in the backfield, or an offensive line capable of protecting their franchise QB. The Broncos are the Broncos. They’re going to run the ball, and play Super-Bowl level defense. Tough trip for Luck and his team of cast-offs.
Broncos 27 Colts 19
Packers at Vikings
The first game in the Vikings new stadium! I fully expect Sam Bradford to start and pick apart the Packers defense. It’s likely Mike Zimmer knew he could win in Tennessee with Shaun Hill, or even me, playing quarterback. I think, the home energy, a strong defense, and good quarterback play lift the Vikings in this tough NFC North battle.
Vikings 30 Packers 24
Eagles at Bears
Carson Wentz looked great last week. Whether that’s the Browns or Bengals, he was a rookie in his first NFL start. Pre-snap, he commanded the huddle, checked to runs, set protections, audibled when necessary, and was 8-8 against the blitz. The Bears present a different challenge. They have a strong front 7, coached by John Fox, who will most likely send more pressure than Ray Horton and the Browns. This game is on the road, in a tough place to play, with the whole nation watching. The Bears offensive line isn’t good, YET the Eagles don’t have anyone who can cover Alshon Jeffrey in their secondary. Cutler makes more mistakes than the rookie, and the Eagles pull out a tough road win.
Eagles 28 Bears 21
I look forward to this weekend’s games. Some good teams could be 0-2, and some up and coming teams could find themselves 2-0. Stay safe and enjoy the weekend! As a bonus, I’m taking AUBURN on Saturday against Texas A&M! War Eagle!
By: Corey Johnson
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org