32. ST. LOUIS RAMS (0-1)
A change in scenery doesn’t necessarily mean a change in fortune. The LA Rams looked awful in their season opener last night against the Niners. Jeff Fisher should give the keys to their no. 1 overall draft pick Jared Goff, clearly Case Keenum can’t teach him a thing.
31. CLEVELAND BROWNS (0-1)
Hey, Hue Jackson, how’s that trade with Philly looking right about now? Browns look poised and ready for another miserable season. At least the people of Cleveland have the world champion Cavaliers to cheer for!
30. TENNESSEE TITANS (0-1)
Titans suffered a tough defeat to a Minnesota Vikings team that recently lost its starting quarterback and rolled out Shaun Hill in his place. Tennessee has a lot of holes to fill on the defensive side of the ball.
29. BUFFALO BILLS (0-1)
Bills struggled to find the end zone against a revitalized Baltimore Ravens defense. With a (now) hobbled Sammy Watkins, I don’t see such offensive struggles improving any time soon.
28. CHICAGO BEARS (0-1)
Bears secondary got carved up by Houston’s receivers. Chicago is going to suffer another long and depressing season if they don’t protect Jay Cutler upfront.
27. DALLAS COWBOYS (0-1)
Dez Bryant: 1 reception, 8 yards.
26. ATLANTA FALCONS (0-1)
Jameis Winston had a field day against the Falcons secondary. Wasn’t Falcons HC Dan Quinn supposed to be a “defensive wizard?” Welp.
25. MIAMI DOLPHINS (0-1)
The Dolphins played a tough, hard-nosed battle against the Seahawks. Unfortunately for them, Russell Wilson handled business late in the game and earned the victory for Seattle.
24. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (1-0)
Chip Kelly’s new-look Niners ran wild against the UCLA Bru… I mean, LA Rams, all the way to a 28-0 shutout victory. So, yeah.
23. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (0-1)
In his return from an embattled 2015 season, Andrew Luck looked strong tossing 4 TDs for 385 yards, but that Colts defense? Not so strong.
22. DETROIT LIONS (1-0)
In a shootout victory, the Lions still exposed their seemingly ever-present defensive struggles. Stafford had a strong outing following the retirement of the great Megatron.
21. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (0-1)
Talk about a rough start to a season. San Diego blew a 21-3 halftime lead to the Chiefs, while losing their no. 1 receiver Keenan Allen to a torn ACL.
20. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (0-1)
QB Blake Bortles and the Jags tried to hang with the big dogs while facing the Packers. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t enough. Jacksonville’s got a nice, young offensive nucleus in Bortles, Yeldon, Robinson, and Hurns, it’ll be interesting to see if they can turn the corner this season. The AFC South is virtually wide open for the taking.
19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (0-1)
Kirk Cousins’s winless record against winning teams extended last night on Monday Night Football against the Steelers.
18. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (0-1)
Brees had a big day in the Big Easy against Oakland, but in the end, it just wasn’t enough. Also, the Saints have questions the size of the MCAT exam on that defense.
17. NEW YORK JETS (0-1)
The Jets should consider tanking until Tom Brady retires. Just a thought. Tough loss against Cincy, though.
16. OAKLAND RAIDERS (1-0)
Derek Carr is the real deal.
Though, I thought Oakland’s defense would come out much stronger against New Orleans, but clearly Drew Brees knew better than me.
15. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (1-0)
Carson Wentz impressed Philly fans and football minds in his rookie debut against the Browns. I’m also sure Fletcher Cox and the Eagles defense enjoyed not having to face 80 snaps this game. Thanks, Chip.
14. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (1-0)
Famous Jameis! Good first victory for head coach Dirk Koetter.
13. HOUSTON TEXANS (1-0)
Texans played well on both sides of the ball. Rookie receiver Kyle Fuller made an impressive debut along side DeAndre “Nuke” Hopkins.
12. NEW YORK GIANTS (1-0)
After missing the last 700 games due to leg injuries, Victor Cruz returned for salsa!
11. BALTIMORE RAVENS (1-0)
Are the Ravens finally back to playing shutdown defense again? It appears so.
10.MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-0)
A lot has changed in Minnesota in the last two weeks, I was impressed by the level of focus the Vikings demonstrated in order to secure the week 1 victory.
9. ARIZONA CARDINALS (0-1)
Can’t lose a home game to a back up QB, not if you’re looking to title contenders. However, I see no cause for panic.
8. CAROLINA PANTHERS (0-1)
Copy and paste Cardinals paragraph here, minus the part about being at home. I see no cause for panic in Carolina, yet.
7. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1-0)
Down 21-3 at the half, Andy Reid coached up his guys and got the W. No Jamaal, no issue.
6. CINCINNATI BENGALS (1-0)
The Bengals are perennial playoff divisional round losers. Something’s gotta give change at some point, right? Also, AJ Green is that man.
5. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (1-0)
Ciara’s husband pulled off a tough, late-game victory for Seattle. The Seahawks appear poised for another championship contending season.
4. DENVER BRONCOS (1-0)
To no surprise, it appears that Denver’s defense is going to be what carries them this season. Trevor Simiean showed flashes of promise, however he certainly has a ton room to grow. As long as he doesn’t turn the ball over, Denver will remain as championship contenders
3. GREEN BAY PACKERS (1-0)
Aaron Rodgers is a baaaaaadddddd man! There’s no question he’s glad to have Jordy back.
2. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (1-0)
Big Ben and Antonio Brown had a big night in Washington on Monday Night Football. I can only imagine how much better they’ll look once Le’Veon Bell returns. This could be a big season for Pittsburgh.
1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (1-0)
No Brady. No Gronk. No problem, to no surprise. Belichick’s “Do your job” mantra works. I wonder – is the league ready for Angry Brady?